I find the title for this post somewhat humorous, as it has been at least 4 months since my last post. I have been busy; travel, guests, house projects, the not so pleasant early pregnancy symptoms, and chasing my 16 month around--everywhere. Busy is good for me, but I have also been busy struggling with who I am and the woman, wife, and mother I want to be.
I have always been a believer and have turned to Him for many things throughout my life. I have not been the "perfect" Christian and have make my fair share of mistakes and poor choices. However, in my opinion, Nobody-including myself can ever be THE perfect Christian. Someone who thinks themselves as perfect holds themselves above others, and that is something I find against what being a Christian is all about. With that being said I have been trying to better myself in order to strengthen my relationship with God, my husband, my daughter, and other relationships as well. I have found that my happiness has increased and my worries have decreased. I have learned to depend on solutions from Him less and instead TRUST in his plans for me and my family. I have found so many blessings in my daily life with this little change in the way I think and the way I believe. I have a ways to go and will always have something to strive to improve in my Christianity.
I have learned to love this verse because I feel that it represents my lifelong relationship with Him past, present, and future. "I am with you & will keep you wherever you go" -Genesis 28:15
I feel this can represent my physical & emotional relationship with Him. When my faith was lost or depleted, He was still with me. Also, I know He is with me wherever my life may take me. I take great comfort in this.
One of the reasons for this being my last post for a while is many things. Media. I find that the only time I feel negative- mostly in my emotions with being frustrated or angry is when I watch the news or scroll through social media. I have never been a fan of Facebook and have deleted my account many times. Only to find myself deactivating to fill in the void I have from staying in contact with Friends and Family back home. I posted our pregnancy announcement a few weeks ago after I started my second trimester. Pregnancy is not something that comes easy to us. We have struggled with this each time we conceived. I have to be on meds that make me sick and this time made me gain weight. I go through many emotions of disappointment, anger, hope, and loss. However, the moment I see the positive result, I am overjoyed and feel so abundantly blessed. I cannot wait to share our happy news. Back to the announcement-- only a few hours after I posted this I saw a post that someone put of a cartoon woman raising her hand with the statement "who is not pregnant!?" The poster then commented "Thank God!" Other women commented on it and it made me feel sorry for them. I was so upset about this I didn't know what to do. I understand those women may not be in the position to have another child, but there are also many women who CANT have children, who have lost their child, or both. I am tired of people posting things before they think about how it may affect others. It is the same thing about women posting fake positive pregnancy tests on April fools day. It's sick, it's sad, and something that should never be joked about. I stayed off Facebook for a while and debated deactivating my account. A few weeks later I came across a post that someone posted about women being drug tested during their pregnancy. This post quickly turned into women publically admitting to smoking and doing drugs during their pregnancy(s) and using themselves as examples that "their children turned out just fine." This put me over the edge.There is NEVER an excuse to smoke, drink, do drugs, or participate in any activity that may put your baby at risk! It's selfish and sad.
I want to spend my energy playing with Josie, being a better wife, preparing for baby #2, doing things that make me happy, and enjoy the beautiful outdoors. It is foolish of me if I allow myself to waste my energy on stupid Facebook posts that I have no control over. I am going off-grid in a way. I absolutely love snail mail and would love to exchange letters to stay in contact with those who want to. I also love exchanging recipes. Send me one and I will send one back. Although I will not have Facebook, I do have Instagram. Please add me or consider signing up to stay up to date with Josie, baby #2, and the Wiltshire's doings. My username is sadiewilt.
Thank you for your past support in my blog postings and maybe someday I will start posting again. More important things for me to focus on right now. I appreciate your understanding.
Much love & many Blessings xo
